25 April

I'm not looking for attention.

I am looking for help.

I can't do this on my own.

my tears run down like razorblades

I lose myself in these fights,

I try to not think about other things.

but the dread take all my power and energy away

from me.

I try to fight back,

but I lose myself in these fights

lose myself in these fights.

-

So please, let me be free.

Free from all these insane worries and hopeless fights.

It's not enough to fight all the time,

I must do something more, but I don't know what.

Im stuck with writing these text.

just to forget what they really were about

and these words are bringing me

so deeply insane

that i don't think i could take my way out.

I drowned in my own tears,

and i've been killed by my own words.

I search to the razorblades.

but i know that it doesn't help all the time.

just for a little while.

it would be much easier just to know that

I always had someone.

-

I have, but they aren't here.

they are just a phone-call away.

-

My dream,

my dream is to walk away from the world.

walk away from everything that have been a painful disaster.

just to walk away

to walk away.

-

everything that i ever needed, is almost gone.

and that hurts.

live day after day, and do a search for something i don't know

what it is.

meanwhile, i would search myself to the razorblades and cigaretts.

they are my passion, my poison.

I need it.

allmost every minute, every second that goes.

life goes on,

well, count me in.

'cause this isn't over yet.

-

( 22.11)